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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28687242">The best of three Egberts</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AAonAOOO/pseuds/AAonAOOO'>AAonAOOO</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Homestuck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Sex, Awkward John Egbert, Blow Jobs, Come Sharing, Earth C (Homestuck), F/M, Facials, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Jade Harley Has a Dog Penis, Kissing, Multi, Neck Kissing, Nonbinary Character, Other, Self-cest, Threesome - F/M/Other, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans John Egbert, Transgender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:13:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,766</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28687242</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AAonAOOO/pseuds/AAonAOOO</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A story of self-cest between John Egbert, June Egbert (a transgender ver. of John) and Joen Egbert (The nonbinary ver. of John). </p><p>---</p><p>When universes merge, only memories are shared between the same person between the merge, but what if something went wrong? Well, when John meets 2 other ver. of himself, each with different genders, he thinks now is the best time for a little experimentation.</p><p>---</p><p>I know you June bugs go nuts, so before you say, this isn't any hate towards June (or trans people) in anyway. It's just a story, so don't get annoyed in the comments.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>John Egbert/Joen Egbert, John Egbert/June Egbert, John Egbert/June Egbert/Joen Egbert, June Egbert/Joen Egbert</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The best of three Egberts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>SOMEWHERE ON EARTH C, THE EGBERT RESIDENCE.</strong>
</p><p>A twenty year old man sits alone in his home. Although this day has no significance, it will soon be. This twenty year old man is John Egbert, and hasn't even been an entire year since the <a href="https://www.homestuck.com/story/8130">credits of Homestuck.</a></p><p>Although his story is over, THIS story starts. So, lets get to the point.</p><p> </p><p>John sat on the couch, flipping through old movies, seeing how the only alternative was Jake's rip-offs of Tomb Raider and Indiana Jones (Although decent, they could never replace the originals). John loved to talk to his friends, but as of recently he had to go out and talk to them personally, but he was just so bored, he didn't have the energy for it, and so he sat, trying to have something to atleast play in the background as he did nothing.</p><p>"God......" John whined "I wish I didn't smash my phone.... Listening to Rose rant about Kanaya would be MUCH better than this!". He rested his head on the back of the couch he sat on, and sighed loudly, like he was begging for a higher power to lighten the mood <strike>;)</strike>. He closed his eyes and let the silence consume him like a safety blanket, and eventually he fell asleep, dreaming the dreams of his past adventures...</p><p>When he woke up, the bright light that had poured into his house early had retreated to a lower dusk of a late evening. John sat up and looked to the time. Only 10 o clock. He got up and went to the fridge, hoping that some food would put him out of his bad mood, and upon opening it, only yesterdays leftovers greeted him with a swift punch to the gut that he hadn't gotten any food for today. He groaned hard, and slumped on the kitchen chair, resting his chin on his hands like a sad puppy that hadn't been given the treats it wanted.</p><p>Suddenly, a feminine voice called out from somewhere in the house: "Hello? Is someone there?". John froze for a second, wondering how someone got into his own home, and for how long? He stood up, and curiously looked around the ground floor, but to no avail. "Hey, I know your here! I can hear you! What are you doing?". The voice came from upstairs, and John replied looking eagerly up "Who are you? How'd you get in here?". Then, a small girly face appeared from the top of the stairs from around the corner and stared down at him.</p><p>Their face was round, but not fat, with long black hair that came down past their shoulders. They wore the same black framed glasses as John did, but this girl seemed to also wear blue ear rings and their eyelashes clearly a girls. When they came into the full picture, they worse the same blue shirt as John did too, but they wore a short blue skirt that exposed the shaven legs. They stood atop the stairs and calmly asked who John was. Returning back to John, he looked up to this new figure, seeing their cute body and bright face that reminded him to Jade's.</p><p>"I live here, girl- If you <em>are</em> a girl, that is. How'd you get in, and why?"</p><p>"I live here! Who are you? I've never met you befo-"</p><p>The girl stopped mid-sentence, and stepped closer, taking steps down the stairs before standing in front of John. She put her face close up to his, and examined him like one would look at a art piece in a museum. Then out of nowhere she gasps and takes a step back:</p><p>"J-John? How... How???"</p><p>"Ummmm, yes, I'm John, and who would you be?"</p><p>"God... I'M YOU! I don't know what time travel or WHATEVER shenanigans I've been left out of, but here you are, me. Of course different."</p><p>"OH, you're just an alternative version me, huh? Well, that's weird, I'm not normally a cute girl. I wonder if there's a cute girl Dave too..."</p><p>"CUTE???? Well, I mean. I am cute, when am i not, right? haha. Thanks for not freaking out over how I'm... a girl. It means a lot"</p><p>"I'm cool with it, I mean, who DOESN'T want to flirt with cute girl versions of themselves. Anyway, have you got a different name? like, a girly name? wait, why am I even asking? of course you do..."</p><p>"It's June, thank you. Please use she/her pronouns for me, John"</p><p>They both stood in silence at how awkward the scene now was, they both assumed complimenting each other was like how you would do in the mirror, but now they're both blushing, trying to avoid each others eyes. John took another look at June, catching another glimpse at her soft legs, and his mind somewhere he didn't want it to go. Unwillingly, his crotch grew bigger, and his loose clothes became tighter, and he hoped that June wouldn't notice.</p><p>June did the same, looking John up and down, and quickly seeing Johns dick perk up and twitch, and she blushed harder. She smiled a little, and stood closer to him, slightly brushing herself against him. John blushed unbelievably harder, and started to stutter.He looks up to Junes face to see her innocent yet devilish smirk as she reaches out and slowly caresses his hand with her thumb.</p><p>"Hey... We liked it when Jade did it to us... why don't you treat me like she did, hm? Here..."</p><p>Flashbacks to John sucking down on Jade's dog penis on the ship during those years. He did everything with Jade, mostly bottom for her. He liked it, how she'd ram her dog dick right in him, and fill him with cum. How sweet it tasted. It only made John harder.</p><p>June guided him with his hand up the stairs, and into their bedroom, and she sat down on the bed facing him, and seductively lifted her skirt to reveal she also had a raging boner. She giggled and told John to take his own pants off and just do her, and John obliged. He took out his dick and looked up to June to see she was already presenting her goods to him. He slowly pressed his cock against June's asshole and teased her by rubbing it on it. She followed suite and moved her hips with him, her own dick large yet limp, ready to be used.</p><p>"Make me feel good, John. Fill me with your warm cum already."</p><p>Suddenly, the door to the bedroom opened and they both looked back suspiciously to see: another John? they looked more surprised then anything, this John hand a hair cut alike to John's, but the sides seemed to look more to Roxy's. An addition is made to the hair: hairpins are placed in it, in the order of colours of the Non-binary Flag. Their shirt had a different ghost from John's one; This one we a light green recolour of a Pac-Man ghost, and other for their shorts, that is their defining features.</p><p>This new John looked at the two naked people about to have sex in their own goddamn bed, and they even have the guts to do it without them. Their face lit up red after seeing 2 cocks and 2 buttholes on display like some porno magazine right in front of them.</p><p>"Hey... Y-Y'all... Can I join the Egbert sex train?"</p><p>"What's... your name????" both John and June said in unison.</p><p>"It's Joen, haha. They/Them."</p><p>They both looked at each other, unsure of what to say. Finally, after a moment, John agrees they can join if they want. Joen excitedly takes their clothes off and with their dick they put it in Johns ass.</p><p>John moans lightly, taken back by how fast it went in, and pushes himself into June, which she does the same. John arches over June and Joen from behind him grabs his hips and squeezes them. Then all at the same time, they dick each other in the ass. As time goes by, they get faster, and their pants get heavier and hotter, each one moaning in pleasure as their anuses are pounded by thick penises. </p><p>John stops and arches way other on top of June, pushing her down and fucks her harder, going balls deep, and June's eyes water and a huge smile grows on her face while her dick rubs against Johns chest (along with Joens hands as she's now hugging John tightly). June is the first to cum, as her sperm spreads on her boobs along with on Johns body, then Joen cums, filing John up with sticky hot cum, leaving no place uncovered in their love. With cum in his ass and June's sweet face, he leans down and starts kissing June on the lips deeply as he thrusts as far as he can into her, and pulls out to give June all his cum as he gives her a facial shot.</p><p>Each one falls down next by themselves on the bed: exhausted. All of their cocks lay limp, each having cum dripping from it. They all look to each other, and kneel up so they're all facing each in a circle, each smiling in the heat of the moment. Joen leans in and licks Johns face before turning his head to face theirs, and starts sucking on his tongue while June bends him over and starts sucking the cum out his ass. She spreads them wide and uses her tongue to spoon the thick cum out from his fat cheeks. Joen and John starts biting and licking each other over while their cocks rubs their semen on each like paintbrushes. June gets a load of jizz on her tongue, and sticks it out for them to see, and both John and Joen start kissing and licking Junes face, leaving slobber marks across her face as she giggles and sharers the cum between them all, all the while they squeeze nipples and slap asses.</p><p>"I love being treated like a girl" says June as she cuddles Joen, and John lightly bites her neck.</p><p>"Haha, I love you, June!" replies Joen, as they bury their face between Junes tiny breasts.</p><p>"Heh, I love having you both here!" finishes John, as his penis gets another erection and moves his mouth down to Joen's dick and wraps his tongue around it.</p><p> </p><p>"I couldn't care if your all just me, I wan't to keep draining each of your fat fucking nuts and drink the cum like the slut I am"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This was originally going to be MUCH worse. So enjoy your censored ver.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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